Plowing ahead

Weight this morning: 194.8. While it looks like I've lost 3 pounds this week, it occurs to me that at least some of it is hair - I had a major chop this week. I'd been working a long-n-glamorous look for a while, mostly out of laziness. When I took the time to blowdry it all the way, it looked GREAT but the rest of the time it was a bit too shaggy/messy for me, not in a sexy bedhead way, but in a "this girl is in a slump and not taking care of herself" way. So I found this picture and brought it to a new stylist whose work I've admired:

She looked at the picture, at my hair and my face, heard me say "I don't want to spend more than 5 minutes in the morning," and told me, "no, not doing that." Though I was disappointed, I trusted her completely - she seemed to be paying such close attention to what would be JUST RIGHT for me.

The end of the story is probably obvious: I HATE it. It's not long nor short, it has no particular shape (other than vaguely bell-like) and it makes me feel like an 8th grader. Not in a good way. (Is there a good way to feel like an 8th-grader?) I'll give it a week more, to try to learn how to do it right, and then, I guess, go back and ask her to fix it. (I've NEVER done that before, but I really hate it.)

However, it does dry much faster, which I tested out this afternoon after my first time swimming with the other Master's Swimming Coach. I liked him much better than the guy who does the Thursday night session - his advice is much more in tune with TI, and is better for triathletes and distance swimmers as opposed to the high-school sprinter approach the other guy has. I'm going to try to switch my session, at least every other week.

However my panic problem has returned - I could barely venture into the deep end today. (The lanes went from 4 feet to 7 feet, with only the last 10 or 15 feet of lane over my head.) I think it's in part because of something GeekGrl posted, about a woman who basically drowned doing an IM a few weeks ago. After I read that, I found a few more stories of people who died doing tri swims, or who started suffering from swim-induced pulmonary edema. I am SUCH an idiot for looking this up - completely morbid, and being so susceptible to anxiety, it was really stupid.

I think the only option for me now is hypnosis, and I'm seriously considering it.