I shouldn't write about self-consciousness when I'm barely conscious at all, having just done my longest, hardest workout yet, about which more, briefly, in a sec.
But I was reflecting, as I biked today, on the issue of self-consciousness, that scourge of fear and anxiety about how others might judge us, that prevents us from enjoying life and trying anything new and unfamiliar. How many times, indeed, have I been laughed at, have I felt like I've made a fool of myself? Many, for sure. And how many times have I let that hold me back from experiencing life to the fullest? Many, in the past, but no more. How about you?
There is no doubt that I don't look like an athlete when I'm out there in my shiny spandex shorts. With my genetic endowments, I probably never will - these thighs will never be thin.
I think having some theater and dance background helps in overcoming this problem - one gets accustomed to putting onesself out there in front of an audience. But it's getting outside your comfort zone that's frightening - singing a solo part, as I tried, not very successfully, a few years ago in "Gondoliers," or lining up with 500+ lean and speedy athletes, six weeks from now (!) to compete. I'd write more about this, but suddenly realized I have to go lie down - having swam 550 yards, biked 10 miles (mostly hills, around Sharon) and run for 25 minutes, I'm done in!