Saturday, April 21, 2007


I shouldn't write about self-consciousness when I'm barely conscious at all, having just done my longest, hardest workout yet, about which more, briefly, in a sec.

But I was reflecting, as I biked today, on the issue of self-consciousness, that scourge of fear and anxiety about how others might judge us, that prevents us from enjoying life and trying anything new and unfamiliar. How many times, indeed, have I been laughed at, have I felt like I've made a fool of myself? Many, for sure. And how many times have I let that hold me back from experiencing life to the fullest? Many, in the past, but no more. How about you?

There is no doubt that I don't look like an athlete when I'm out there in my shiny spandex shorts. With my genetic endowments, I probably never will - these thighs will never be thin.

I think having some theater and dance background helps in overcoming this problem - one gets accustomed to putting onesself out there in front of an audience. But it's getting outside your comfort zone that's frightening - singing a solo part, as I tried, not very successfully, a few years ago in "Gondoliers," or lining up with 500+ lean and speedy athletes, six weeks from now (!) to compete. I'd write more about this, but suddenly realized I have to go lie down - having swam 550 yards, biked 10 miles (mostly hills, around Sharon) and run for 25 minutes, I'm done in!


RUTH said...

My biggest problem is being self concious...I am convinced when I walk in a room of strangers everyone is sniggering at me...or that anything I say seems banal or trivial....I think it all stems from my my parents nothing but perfect at everything was good enough! I think that's why I enjoy one cares what you look like or sound like. Mind you even then I feel a bit selfconcious when commenting on really intelligent peoples blogs!!!

Lisa - Slow & Steady said...

I feel the same way!! One thing that I've learned is that the triathlete community is actually a bunch of really nice, supportive folks. A lesson that I keep learning and relearning is to focus on how far I've come and not compare myself to others. Sounds like you've come a long way so far and the journey is really just starting! How cool is that?!?!